I'm Janna Baker, and today I want to tell you a little bit
about my spiritual journey over the last few years. I am one of those people who can say there's
never been a time in my life that I haven't known and loved Jesus. I grew up in a strong, Bible-believing
family. I went to church twice on Sunday
and mid-week church programming. I went
to a Christian elementary school, a Christian middle school, a Christian high
school, and a Christian college. I would
say that my relationship with Christ became personal and meaningful when I was
12 or 13. I never rebelled. I've been a good girl.
Yet, in adulthood, without realizing it, I was rebelling
against God by refusing to spend time in his Word. You can imagine, after 17 years of Christian
education, not to mention my family upbringing and my church involvement, that
I knew the Bible. We listened to
cassette tapes of verses set to music.
We had family devotions after dinner every day. I could defend my faith, if asked. And yet, I wasn't spending time in God's
Word. It was as if I was saying,
"you know, God, I know all this already.
I don't need to keep reading it."
And looking back now, (and after taking the Respectable Sins study!), I
recognize that I was living a life of ungodliness. What I mean by that is that I was living my
life as if I was in control. I was going through the motions of the
Christian life without really depending on God.
At the time, I didn't recognize the ungodliness in my life, but I knew I
was not growing spiritually. I remember
going out for lunch with the ladies of my home group, and one of them asking me
how my time in the Word was. I had to
admit that I was doing minimal preparation for Wednesday morning Bible study,
and other than that and Sunday morning worship, I really wasn't doing anything. I was starting to feel convicted.
But here's the problem.
I didn't want to spend time in God's Word! When I had some free time, I wanted to knit,
or read for pleasure, or skype with family, or play games, or sleep! I can't tell you how many times I felt nudged
to spend time in the Word, and I chose to ignore it. I chose to follow my sin nature and be
selfish with my time. It was at a
one-day retreat here at church that I confessed that I don't have a desire to
spend time with God. Someone in my small
group at the retreat told me I should pray for that desire. So I did.
I told God that I didn't really want to spend time with Him, but that I wanted to want to.
When, at the end of 2010, Pastor Tom encouraged us to find
and use a Bible-reading plan for 2011, I decided it was time to make a
commitment. So I started reading my
Bible, four chapters per day. There were
days that I forgot to read, and other days that I read two- or three- or four-
days worth of readings to make up for those missed days. Many days, especially at the beginning, my
Bible reading was just routine. I was
reading it to check it off my list. And
I'll admit, I still have days like that.
I had to tell myself that even if I get nothing out of my reading, I'm
still being obedient to God and that honors Him. On December 31st, I read 12 chapters and
completed my goal of reading through the Bible in a year.
This year, I've chosen to read through the Bible again,
using the same plan I used last year.
But I'm discovering that there are so many little different details that
jump out at me this year. I'm learning
that even though I've known this book my whole life, God can teach me new
things with each new reading of it! I'm
often surprised at connections between different chapters that I'm
reading. And I often feel like His Word
was written just for me at particular times.
His Word is becoming more personal, more applicable to my life. I find encouragement, conviction, power, and
comfort. I find instructions on how to live
a Godly life.
I recently re-read Psalm 19.
Starting at verse 7, it says, "The law of the Lord is perfect,
refreshing the soul. The statutes of the
Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple.
The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving
light to the eyes. The fear of the Lord
is pure, enduring forever. The decrees
of the Lord are firm, and all of them are righteous. They are more precious than gold, than much
pure gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the honeycomb. By them your servant is warned; in keeping
them there is great reward."
I am starting to see some rewards for my faithfulness in
being in God's Word. I'm getting to know
God better. I am growing spiritually. I am being convicted of areas of sin in my
life that I need to confront (yeah, I know, that doesn't really feel like
reward). I'm being reminded daily of how
much God loves me. And I feel at
peace.
I wonder if anyone here is at that place I was a few years
ago. Feeling spiritually stagnant, and
wondering how you can revitalize your walk with God? Start praying for the desire to spend time
with God, whether it's through prayer or through the Word. He will be faithful and will answer your
prayer. I think of Psalm 42: 1-2 that
says "As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my
God. My soul thirsts for God, for the
living God. When can I go and meet with
God?" I still can't say that I
yearn for time with God. But I believe
that I'm still on this journey, and that as I remain faithful to God, He will
be faithful to me, and He'll continue to grow me in Him.
Some of you here are in a busy stage of your lives. Many of you have young kids that require
near-constant supervision. When I had
younger kids, I used that as one of my excuses for not spending time with
God. But I've realized now that it's a
cop-out. If you pray for the desire to
know God more, and you make a commitment to spend time with Him, you WILL find
time for Him. It might mean waking up
earlier. It might mean staying up
later. It might mean giving up a few of
those precious nap-time minutes to spend in the Word and prayer before moving
on to laundry, dishes, catching up on e-mail, Facebook, Pinterest, or other
distractions.
Let me leave you with one more passage, the one that is on
the cards at your table. Isaiah 55:10-11
says, "As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return
to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it
yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out
from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I
desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." It is my prayer that the Word we have studied
together this year will encourage you, convict you, change you. Apply it to your life, and allow God to grow
you.
Prayer: "Lord,
your word is a lamp for our feet and a light on our paths. Accept the willing praise of my mouth, and teach
me your laws. Though I constantly take
my life in my hands, I will not forget your law. Your statutes are my heritage forever; they
are the joy of my heart. My heart is set
on keeping your decrees, to the very end.
Amen.
